A cat is a small creature in the middle of the food chain that is fully aware that you are a very large thing that could stomp its head in at any moment and yet it chooses to rest its tiny little head on your leg for a nap and spreads out on the floor near you exposing its belly and its most sensitive organs. It brings dead mice and bugs to you to share food.
Don’t you get it? This tiny thing trusts you. It wants to help you too. It licks your leg thinking that it’s helping. It kneads on you to find comfort. It shares its body warmth with you in the cold and gives you your space in the heat. It hisses at other mammals it sees outside including other cats in an effort to protect its family.
Cats love you so so much. But they will keep trying to eat plastic.
i hate it when you’re heating something up in the microwave and it starts to go snap crackle pop so you take it out but it’s still completely cold. shut up then??
Had a coworker tell me they hadn’t texted once because of the time. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
I stared at them through the dawning realization that they lived in a world where that was remotely possible. “My phone is on do not disturb if I’m sleeping. Why would I let random texts wake me up? My sleep is important.”
Equally baffled they replied, “What if someone at work needs you?”
“I am not a manager. No one at work will ever need me badly enough to interrupt my sleep. If I’m not working then there’s no reason to be calling me.”
“Not even if you need to cover?”
I laughed, “I don’t need to cover. They could ask me to cover but good luck getting ahold of me if I’m sleeping.”
They looked distressed at this idea.
To console them I added, “I have important people like my mom and my wife set to override. If they call they get through no matter what.”
There was a small pause before they asked, “You can do that…?”
So friendly reminder. Become unreachable. Work does not need you that badly. Sleep.
I love that I share my house with one of the most efficient apex predators millions of years of evolution could produce. I love that two of nature’s most prolific machines met and were like “hmmm. We should lay around and do nothing together”. Now we’re both fat and happy and full of meat. The hedonism of it all
Humans keeping cats and dogs as family members is like three prodigy assassins being introduced in the back of a shady nightclub and 45 minutes later they’re 6 crunchwrap supremes deep passing a blunt in the back of a shag carpeted Volkswagen microbus rating Oreo varietals by fuckability
tumblr users have the unique ability to string together sentences never before seen in all of human history and yet they conjure up such specific visceral imagery that you can’t help but be a little in awe. and i think that’s beautiful
